Jesus Was An Only Son

"One of the first things that is shocking when you have a kid is that suddenly there is this thing inside you... that says there is nothing, nothing you wouldn't do to keep them safe and protect them from what the world is going to deliver, which of course you can't do... the choices that we make are given a value by the things that we give up for them, the parts of life we pass by..."

Bruce Springsteen may not be a practising Catholic, yet in his own words, "he is still on the team" and "once a Catholic, always a Catholic". His songs present a relentless optimism, hope, redemption and resurrection. Bible imagery often features heavily. If you are interested in reading a little more on this, try these: Catholic Herald or Christian Today .

The Holy Family, Mary, Joseph and Jesus are introduced to us in the Nativity narratives. They present a model, an ideal - God could have picked any woman, and any man - in the whole of history - to bring up his Son; He picked these. By Jesus' Passion, Joseph seems to have died and is no longer there to support his son, and his wife, through the pain and torment. Mary was there, and this is her story, according to Springsteen:

A mother prays, "Sleep tight, my child, sleep well

For I'll be at your side

That no shadow, no darkness, no tolling bell,

Shall pierce your dreams this night." (Full lyrics)

This song is not just about Mary and about Jesus. It is about fatherhood, motherhood and all that goes with that. My life changed on 8th October 2015, when my son was born. I underwent the transformation Springsteen describes in the introduction to playing 'Jesus was an only son' live. A friend of mine had his daughter just a few months before us, and when I asked how it felt, he simply said, "ontological" - a phrase that has stuck with me. In his Confessions, St Augustine describes ontological feelings as being beyond conception, without condition... and connected to the heart.

Naturally fatherhood changes your working outlook and practices.

Instead of getting into work at 6.30am each day, when I can I like to stay at home and spend a bit of time with T in the morning. I try to get home as early as I can too, especially one or two nights a week. This usually means a few late nights catching up on work at home, something I never used to do when I did 6.30/7am to 6pm in school each day. Yet the trade off is worth it - getting home and giving T a bath, putting him to bed is a highlight of my day. 

I'd only ever left school once in the middle of the day in 12 years teaching, the day my grandmother died, but I've already had to do it once this year when T had been sick at nursery. The students at school remain important in my life, but they are not my own son. The needs of my wife are also greater than ever before, I need to be there to help and support her too. 

There are many reasons your colleagues may be finding life tough outside of school (bereavement, illness, divorce to name but a few). Although I never fully appreciated what colleagues who were parents may be going through. When you son is ill or teething, you may have got one or two hours sleep. You may have been woken on the hour, every hour. You may have been sat in the nursery at 3am. These things naturally have an impact on your ability to function on a given day! Especially as it so often happens when you have that 5 period day.

Your evenings and weekends become far more precious. I am reluctant to give up my Saturday morning to do a revision session, as this is when I take T swimming. I will be very selective on which Saturday conferences I will attend, as that is one of my full days with T. I try to avoid too many evenings out as I don't get to see T and put him to bed, plus it makes a very long day for my wife.

Importantly, it has changed my outlook to dealing with students at school too. You look at the students differently knowing how you care and protect your own child. I think I speak to fellow parents a little differently. I am not softer, if anything tougher, as I would want my son to be treated - I wouldn't want his teachers to tolerate mediocrity or have low aspirations for him. I would want him to be loved, cared for and treated fairly. I now always try to make it even clearer to parents that this is why I am trying to help, this is where I am coming from - even if it means the use of sanctions. 

Working in schools is a great privilege because you know exactly how great kids are already. The other day I read this by Matt Coyne who blogs on Facebook as the brilliant Man vs Baby:

When my son Charlie turned one we took him to a wildlife park. While we were there we taught him the noise that a lion makes... and he hasn't stopped "rraaahhhhrrring" ever since. And every time he roars, it occurs to me that we could just as easily have taught him that a lion "moos" or "quacks" and he would have accepted that as truth. And it further occurs to me that there is real power in that and a responsibility that comes with it. (BREXIT! TRUMP! ISIS! TERROR! HOW FATHERHOOD WILL FIX THE IMPENDING APOCALYPSE)

This is the power and responsibility that we share in as teachers. We are already in loco parentis for a significant part of the day - maybe we even feel we do more parenting than the actual parents! Certainly our pastoral responsibility can often go beyond the basic teaching of our lessons. This can be a rewarding and really worthwhile part of our jobs. Those with pastoral leadership roles will (hopefully) real feel this - we do make a difference. We also get to share in the many of the joys, laughs and happy moments.

Does becoming a parent mean you should be treated differently at work? Not really, but you can hopefully expect a little compassion and understanding on occasion. Does it mean you are a better teacher? Not necessarily, but I feel it has helped me be even better. Is it great fun? Absolutely. Is it for everyone? Not at all. 

I do now know that although my job is important, and that it still feels like a form of vocation, that my own family is my highest priority. I have undergone that 'ontological transformation' whereby there is nothing, nothing, you wouldn't do for them. I'm a husband, dad... and then teacher.

Image courtesy: Intensity Advisors

My Desert Island Discs

On Sunday, it was a treat to listen to Bruce Springsteen on an extended Desert Island Discs (You missed it?! Find it <here>). His choices absolutely summed up the man: nothing obscure, pretentious or showy. With one eye on the holidays, trying to forget I still had school on Monday morning, I set about writing my own eight tracks to take to a desert island.  

After much deliberation, these are my picks:

1. The Day We Caught The Train - Ocean Colour Scene
• The day I started to discover my own musical taste after flirting with the Top 40 and odd songs I thought I liked (my first single that I owned was none other than Chesney Hawkes). This was the start of my love of all things BritPop and a 20 year plus love of Ocean Colour Scene. Still a great tune to sing along to with your mates after a few beers. Well worth going to see live still too.
2. Last Stop: This Town - Eels
• I owned Beautiful Freak, but it was this track that begun my 20 year plus obsession with all things Eels. We had "I Like The Way This Is Going" as our first dance. It backed up my theory that E has written a song for every possible eventuality in life. Rarely does an artist transform the band / setlist / theme of each tour as much as E. His autobiography is worth a read.
3. Like A Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan
• One of my picks that Bruce had on his list, "the first time I really heard him with this song, it just instantly started to change my life". I bought as many Dylan albums as I could when I was in my second hand CD buying stage; every time I found a new one in Golden Discs there was great excitement.
4. Madame George - Van Morrison
• Another of Bruce's choices. Astral Weeks is one of the best albums out there, and I agree with the spiritual nature that is identified on Desert Island Discs, "It made me trust in beauty, it gave me a sense of the divine. The divine just seems to run through the veins of that entire album."
5. Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen
• If you don't 'get' Thunder Road, I'd highly recommend reading Nick Hornby's joyful chapter in 31 songs. There is no other song that I have come close to listening to as much as this one. We also walked down the aisle to this after getting married. 
6. A New England - Billy Bragg
• The 'Bard of Barking' has written some of the best British political songs of the last twenty years, as well as some of the best love songs. This was one of the first songs of Billy's that I got to know. His gigs are part political rally, part music, but often all the better for that.   
7. End of the World News - Tom McRae
• "The son of two vicars.." as most write ups begin. I have made some great friends from going to Tom's gigs, beginning in the old days of 'the forum'. Tom deserves far more recognition that he gets, I'm sure you can buy his back catalogue cheaply - do it. This song was from the early days when we headed off to obscure venues around the country, drank lots of beer and JD and sang along. Actually I still try and do that as often as I can!
8. Ennio Morricone - Gabriel's Oboe
• Morricone's western scores are some of the best pieces of music ever composed. The theme to Once Upon A Time in the West is perhaps the greatest film music ever (Coincidentally, there Springsteen cover <here>). This choice is also wedding related... I had suggested Emily listen to some Morricone tracks for her arrival music, she dismissed it, but then came back a few weeks later with Gabriel's Oboe - a truly stunning piece of music, absolutely fitting for the moment.

As part of the Desert Island Discs format, you can take a book and a luxury item. My book has to be The Grapes of Wrath... Steinbeck is my favourite author, who somehow seems to see inside the human soul and condition in a way few other authors can. My item would probably be a guitar, so I can 'learn how to make it talk' to keep me busy.

What would your Desert Island Discs be and why?

I realised when I had finished that there were so many tracks missing. These are some that have also been pivotal in my life: Ben Folds Five - Best Imitation of Myself, Pulp - A Little Soul, Counting Crows - Mr Jones, Country Feedback - R.E.M., Neil Diamond - America, Amy McDonald - This Is The Life, The Avett Brothers - Murder in the City, Gaslight Anthem - '59 Sound, Joe Purdy - I Love the Rain Most, Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms, Crowded House - Private Universe, Taylor Swift - Teardrops on my Guitar, David Ford - State of the Union... 

Image: Courtesy of the Telegraph

Pay Me My Money Down

Image courtesy of Wikimedia

Questions to NOT to ask at dinner parties:

1. Who do you vote for?
2. Are you religious?
3. How much do you get paid?

Recently there was a release of Sony emails by the WikiLeaks website <here>. Some of these contained Bruce Springsteen's contract details with album expectations up until 2027. Plus his payment; a cool $101m. 

I'm a massive Springsteen fan, and one of the reasons I admire him most (apart from the music) is his work ethic, especially for a 65 year old. On top of this, he has a seeming ability to still appear like a normal, everyday guy; popping into bars and shops in NJ, helping out neighbours and local charity events and so on. I've no doubt he was embarrassed, as we would all be, for the world to find out exactly what he earns.

Admittedly, it is no surprise to most that it is indeed a pretty hefty pay cheque and he also appears on various 'Rich Lists'. It wouldn't be impossible to conceive he earns a few quid each year.

This got me thinking about teacher salaries. Due to published pay scales, in the past, it has been relatively easy to work out, at least approximately, what teachers were being paid as a base salary. If you had some idea when someone started in the profession, you could pretty much work it out. Also many people openly spoke about being on M4 or M5, U1 or U3. You also needed to factor in London weighting. These were tied to teacher standards, at least giving some idea of the responsibility of teachers at different stages of their career.

Obviously some schools are now moving away from these pay scales, although the new schools budgets may stop the 'pay what you like' culture that many thought may happen. PPR is still 'to be fully realised' and I am sure there will be as many restrictions on pay as schools can get away with as they try to count the pennies, in the hope of saving the pounds.

TLRs and the Leadership scale starts to make things less clear. They can also be the things that can cause problems:

• How much extra is someone being paid to do their job?
• To what extent does that pay increase their responsibility?
• What should the rest of us expect them to do for us as a result of their higher pay?
• Am I paid enough to do this extra work for others?

Teaching is generally a vocation, but the money is important. Especially given the workload, stress and sometimes out of pocket costs. I think also some people see their additional payment as a reason to do something or not to do something. I don't like this idea, but it happens, and it is not always challenged. Although on the other hand, to what extent should we expect people to do things for the greater good? For the "love of the kids?"

I now effectively have two TLRs (although I don't, as you can't). One for being Assistant Subject Leader in RE and one for being Head of Year 10. Both roles are demanding in their own way and I feel I earn every extra pound that I am paid... and I'd probably be able to put forward the case for a few more. Yet I do neither job for the money. However, unlike Mr Springsteen, my contract does not fully spell out exactly what I need to do. I need to get the job done, whatever that takes, and there is potentially a big variety between getting the job done and getting it done well. What if I decide to do something extra? I certainly won't get paid for that.

However there is often a difficult lack of point of reference in schools. It is very hard to say exactly what is your job and what isn't. To what extent do I get involved in issue A? Do I try to sort out issue B? Is issue C better dealt with by person X? Why? 

Payment in teaching is a funny situation. Our contracts don't work like Springsteen's as we are not global superstars. Do we do things out of professionalism, care for our students and love of the job? Absolutely. Does higher payment mean greater responsibility? Of course. How much? Who knows... 

Pay Me My Money Down, a working song that originated among the Negro stevedores working in the Georgia Sea Islands. Here is it being sung by Bruce in his house:

"Earning It"

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

As many will know, I am a massive Springsteen fan and despite him being worth over $300m, he still delivers 3 hour plus shows, renowned for their energy and high tempo; he still works very hard despite the fact he may be able to 'get away' with a sub-2 hour greatest hits performance going through the motions. For a while now, I have thought that there is a potential analogy with teaching, especially for those who have been in the job a while, particularly at the same school, do you still 'earn it'?

Jake Clemons, nephew of the late, great Clarence, who now plays with Bruce and the E Street band shared this in an interview:

"There are words that he gave me very early on that stuck with me. He pulled me into the dressing room — I believe it was our second show — and he said, ‘Listen, this is really important: you haven’t earned it. You haven’t earned it. You won’t earn it. You’re still earning it. After 40 years, I’m still earning it.’ Every night he goes on that stage, he’s aware. Everyone there has an expectation. Just like it was on day one. Just like it will be on the last day. And you have to earn it and fulfill that expectation. That was huge. What a beautiful nugget that you can hold on to, and really apply it to everything. The moment you think you’ve earned it, you’ve lost it.” [Read it in full <here>]

Do we ever 'earn it' as teachers?

If we reach middle leadership have we 'earned it'?
... Senior leadership?
... Headteacher?

I'm not sure we are 'only as good as our last lesson' and students are, thankfully, generally forgiving. However your status or title, career length or even perceived 'coolness' does not mean you have 'earned it' in school. 

I think this is the importance of reflection. I hated doing lesson evaluations when I was doing my PGCE, I just wanted to get on with nailing the next lesson. However, I now spend a lot more time thinking about when things go wrong. Sometimes I teach lessons which really don't work, or for some reason, I haven't had enough time to plan it properly (welcome to the world of Head of Year...). If I teach a lesson like this, I really try to 'earn it' back with the next lesson. I feel a real responsibility to convince them that I am better than that last lesson, that I do care, and I do want to deliver great lessons as often as I physically can. 

As a middle leader myself, I am not just trying to 'earn it' with students but also with my department and year team. Do I take my share of the dirty work? Am I willing to do the same as what I ask of others? It can be easy to hide away in your office when that end of lunch bell rings. 

This is one of my favourite live Springsteen videos. The 6th song of a 27 song show. A 60 year old man absolutely 'earning it'. Teaching is a physical job, but so is fronting a rock'n'roll band! Springsteen has a fitness regime that he has carried out for over 30 years involving free weights and running six miles a day in order that he can perform to this level. 

Yet (thankfully) we don't need to knee-slide and dive into the crowd every night... although that would be a great way to get through period 6 on a Friday with Y11.

I hope that went I get to Springsteen's age (65), wealth (!?), status, title (THE Boss) and having a career lasting 50 years, that I still go out every day and make sure I "earn it".

Dream Baby Dream

Come on dream on, dream on baby

Come on dream on, dream on baby

Come on dream on, dream on baby

Come on dream on, dream baby dream

Come on and open up your heart

Come on and open up your heart

Come on and open up your heart

Come on dream on, dream baby dream

Yeah I just wanna see you smile

And I just wanna see you smile

Yeah I just wanna see you smile

Come on dream on, dream baby dream

It's important to clarify that I never have called any of my students 'baby'. Secondly, I am very sure Suicide (the original writers, a 70's electronic protopunk band), nor Bruce Springsteen, had school students in mind when they wrote and performed this. Despite all this, I kind of feel that this can be all about our lives as teachers, right?

The core message of this song is three-fold:

• Dream (aim high and never give up)
• Open Up (and give us a chance; trust us; let us in)
• Smile (because you fulfilled your potential and got the right result!)

The first of these two present some deep and complex problems in schools:

How do we encourage students to aim high and never give up?
How do we encourage students to open up and allow us to help?

Let's look at each:

How do we encourage students to aim high and never give up?

2.49 million of people are out of work (BBC - Aug 2013), including a huge number of recent university graduates. Speaking to current sixth formers, they are excited and looking forward to university, but don't want to talk about 'what happens next'. Such an economic situation can breed a situation where there is seemingly no point in aiming high... yet alternatively should it not be providing a drive to be the very very best?

However, are my Y9s really thinking about the economic state of the UK jobs market? Probably no.

I've heard people talk about the fact we live in a world where there are few consequences. Look at banks... Bailed out despite their financial mismanagement. Out of work? Enjoy benefits! Again, I don't agree. Speak to an ordinary person struggling on state handouts, not the Daily Mail version. Are there consequences to my students if they don't get the grades? Yes, they have less choice of A Levels; they may also be asked to leave. Some want to leave anyway?

Now I am incredibly fortunate to work in a good school where for much of the time behaviour is not a big issue. Most students do want to do well. However too many (and one is too many!) dream of being a WAG or just finding a rich husband. They do not always have the high aspirations I try to inspire. This is not always easy being a relatively young (29) year old male teacher in an all girls environment - what do I know?

I try my best; I try to instil belief in my students, always. I also to build resilience. I'm trying to get my students to adopt the notion of FAIL (First Attempt In Learning), trying to help them learn to pick themselves up, get better and not be phased by the process. I want them to recognise their weaknesses and combat them rather than shy away from them; it ain't easy!

I think we need to keep reminding students to dream, and dream big. We must fill their lives with hope and ambition because unfortunately the world won't always necessarily do that. It's also not just about dreaming, it's making those dreams become a reality through hardwork and perseverance.

Dream Baby Dream

How do we encourage students to open up and allow us to help?

Teaching all girls requires a huge investment in time. Relationships can be slow to build; loyalty is given to those who students have known the longest.

In my previous job, and I know it is a massive generalisation, I found many boys would open up quite quickly. This was especially the case as soon as you had watched the footy the previous night and knew last Saturdays' scores. Again, not all, and there were always the tough nuts to crack.

I am encouraging FAIL as I mentioned before, an openness where we all recognise our failings. I admit my weaknesses too; I tell students what I struggle with. I offer my time, without constraint... it always shocks them when I say I am in school from 7am until 6pm everyday - appointments always available.

It's important when you say this, you do it. Hattie is right when he says feedback is the most important driving force in raising progress, a 1:1 with a student gives drastic results in the following essay at A-Level.

But too often, I offer this service, and students do not take it up. Why? Does it make the mistakes impossible to hide from? Does it expose their failings in an unmanageable way? If I force it, does it remain a useful experience? Is the only end result of that meeting one of... phew?

Is there a better way? A quicker, easier way? Perhaps not. These are young people finding their feet in the world and working out who to trust and who not too. The main aim can be to prove you are that person to turn to. Are you reliable? Do you keep promises? Do you drop that marking to solve a crisis? If so, then maybe, just maybe, your students will open up.

Come on and open up your heart

Finally, "I just wanna see you smile"... Yes I do. And it makes me think all the pressures, stresses, impossible deadlines, piles of marking, 14 hour days, relentless reminders and chasing, frustrations, tears, headaches and social events cancelled completely worth it. Most of the time.

Yeah I just wanna see you smile

Being The Boss?

To me, there will only ever be one Boss. However, it's undeniable that part of our role in the classroom is be in charge of learning, discipline, toilet issues...

As part of my schools' ACE working party (that's for another post), we decided to try and target the habit of many of our students who tend to put their hand up very quickly as soon as they encounter a problem. This runs from Y7 to Y13.

We decided to adopt Jim Smith’s idea from “The Lazy Teacher’s Handbook”,C3B4ME. We are using a student designed poster, see left, and decided to leave off 'Me' (or the Boss as I have also seen it). This was conscious as we wanted students to really focus on the tools available to them before asking for help.

It is designed to be a point of reference for the teacher and a reminder to students to take a minute, and see if actually they can tackle the problem on their own, or with the resources immediately to hand.

A poster has been put up in every classroom around the school at the start of this academic year (download <here>). A Y7 student designed the poster as part of a competition designed to help give ownership to pupils.

Measuring the outcome will be difficult. This is just one small part of a far wider strategy to make our students more resilient learners, less dependent on the teacher to take them every step of the way. It's also important to be concious that the teachers' role is far from redundant, there is a constant need to stretch the students and this will never go away.

I did think it was important to explain why this blog was called TDRE Boss Blog though; it's a Springsteen reference. I think as teacher, often you need to take centre stage as The Boss, but equally "nobody wins unless everybody wins" and it's important to constantly reflect on how that can happen in your classroom.